Eight Pharkin' Days Later/
Hi. It's me. Kate. You remember...Kate? The blonde one (with red ends -- they're so damn hard to get rid of. Never go red on a whim.) 5 feet and 8 inches tall (with my new 2.5 inch heels on), 29 years old (possibly for another six or seven years because 30 is sounding a little terrifying right now), queen of the procrastinators, mother to Rufus, drinker of coffee (decaf). Remember me? Well, it's been eight whole days since I last posted, but I'm back. Since it's been eight whole days, I'm sure you expect me to have LOTS to report. You know...breakups, pregnancies, travel, life-altering experiences, auditions, play completion, awards, new friends, plans for the future...etc. etc...
Well...I auditioned to be the voice in a chicken commercial. Does that count? Although...that wasn't in the last eight days. Um...okay...I broke up with Rufus temporarily, but we're fine now; I met at least one pregnant person, I traveled to Queen Street West and spent an exorbitant amount of money on a new pair of glasses (they're awesome); I ate two life-altering cupcakes; I thought about how glad I was to not be auditioning for a meat commercial this week; I worked on my play; Rufus left a special award for me on my bedroom floor; I reconnected with a friend I haven't spoken to in eleven years; and I'm still waiting to hear back about some plans for February (hmm....mysterious).
Phew. I guess I did have a lot to report.
About the play...I've written an outline, seven pages and three songs and I'm getting pretty excited about it. For some reason, the music is coming along much faster than the script. I'm a little stuck on the story front, actually, and there is VERY little you can do with a seven-page play. Anyway...I'll figure it out. It's just writer's block. Yeah. That's it. "Writer's block." Not "procrastinator's seven-page itch". Not at all.
About Rufus/Rufette...never give a cat gravy. Aside from the obvious complications, it turns them into gravy-craving psychopaths. Psychopets. Psychopeths. Psychocats. Wow. The writer's block is affecting my punning, too.
About the rest of PHARK (well, I guess it's PHRK right now, because A's off being famous in London)...P turned thirty yesterday. THIRTY. Gosh, I'm glad I'm still right in the middle of my twenties. Yep, right in the middle of the fourth quarter of the last year of my twenties. I'm fine with that. Tooooootally fine. My mother had given birth to four children and pursued two different careers by age thirty, but that's fine. I've given birth to at LEAST four ideas in my life. And I've played people with careers on TV.
Well...it's 9:45pm and I haven't written yet today, so I'm off. It's time to be productive. And by 'be productive', I mean 'go drinking, then come home and eat slightly out-of-date cupcakes'.
K.
Hi. It's me. Kate. You remember...Kate? The blonde one (with red ends -- they're so damn hard to get rid of. Never go red on a whim.) 5 feet and 8 inches tall (with my new 2.5 inch heels on), 29 years old (possibly for another six or seven years because 30 is sounding a little terrifying right now), queen of the procrastinators, mother to Rufus, drinker of coffee (decaf). Remember me? Well, it's been eight whole days since I last posted, but I'm back. Since it's been eight whole days, I'm sure you expect me to have LOTS to report. You know...breakups, pregnancies, travel, life-altering experiences, auditions, play completion, awards, new friends, plans for the future...etc. etc...
Well...I auditioned to be the voice in a chicken commercial. Does that count? Although...that wasn't in the last eight days. Um...okay...I broke up with Rufus temporarily, but we're fine now; I met at least one pregnant person, I traveled to Queen Street West and spent an exorbitant amount of money on a new pair of glasses (they're awesome); I ate two life-altering cupcakes; I thought about how glad I was to not be auditioning for a meat commercial this week; I worked on my play; Rufus left a special award for me on my bedroom floor; I reconnected with a friend I haven't spoken to in eleven years; and I'm still waiting to hear back about some plans for February (hmm....mysterious).
Phew. I guess I did have a lot to report.
About the play...I've written an outline, seven pages and three songs and I'm getting pretty excited about it. For some reason, the music is coming along much faster than the script. I'm a little stuck on the story front, actually, and there is VERY little you can do with a seven-page play. Anyway...I'll figure it out. It's just writer's block. Yeah. That's it. "Writer's block." Not "procrastinator's seven-page itch". Not at all.
About Rufus/Rufette...never give a cat gravy. Aside from the obvious complications, it turns them into gravy-craving psychopaths. Psychopets. Psychopeths. Psychocats. Wow. The writer's block is affecting my punning, too.
About the rest of PHARK (well, I guess it's PHRK right now, because A's off being famous in London)...P turned thirty yesterday. THIRTY. Gosh, I'm glad I'm still right in the middle of my twenties. Yep, right in the middle of the fourth quarter of the last year of my twenties. I'm fine with that. Tooooootally fine. My mother had given birth to four children and pursued two different careers by age thirty, but that's fine. I've given birth to at LEAST four ideas in my life. And I've played people with careers on TV.
Well...it's 9:45pm and I haven't written yet today, so I'm off. It's time to be productive. And by 'be productive', I mean 'go drinking, then come home and eat slightly out-of-date cupcakes'.
K.
posted by katehewlett at 3:12 PM
49 Comments:
Where does one get these life altering cupcakes? I have to admit I could use some of those...
(It's late. I'm tired. I babble. Don't read. No, really. Don't. No, don't...oh, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you.)
Thirty is not terrifying.
*peers back at 30*
*squints*
Nope. Not terrifying.
Besides, you'll always be younger than David, right?
I'd like a life-altering cupcake. I'd even settle for a mind-altering cupcake.
Meat commercial? o.O
How's the language study coming?
(Going to bed now. No, really -- bed. Cupcake? No? *sigh*)
Welcome back to the internet! I must say your updates have been missed. not that i'm *obsessed* with reading them or anything. no not me. :P
Let me know how the 30th birthday is when you get there, I am also approaching it much more quickly than I can believe. under 1.5 years left of my 20's :I
Good luck with the "productivity". :)
New glasses?!?
*ears perk up*
What kind? You've peaked my interest since, as I've already established with my gross eye information, I make glasses...and stuff.
As for thirty, don't be afraid of it. (31 year old here.)
Seriously, I thought people who told me that the thirties were so much better than the twenties were just full of well...stuff.
They were abso-freaking-lutely right.
Some kind of switch turns over and you no longer really care what other people think (sometimes, not so good), and then the wonderful new hormones that didn't even exist previously kick in and well, I won't go in to it since your dad reads this but it's just very very good.
Repeat after me: Thirty is good.
Also, Rufus doesn't give a flying wooha how old you are, as long as you love him and snuggle him and most importantly: feed him.
Nice to know that those mind altering cupcakes are still out there:)Wouldn't mind having one now...........
Why is it that your blog always seems to make me hungry?
-Danielle
You just go ahead and stay 29 for as long as you feel like it. Though thirty is not bad at all it's a good age, really. No, seriously! Although, now that I think of it, I spent my entire 30th year packing and subsequently vowing that if I ever move across a continent again, I am burning all my possessions and buying new stuff at the other end of the trip.
Anyway, I'm seriously thinking of insisting on a "redo" of my thirties, because they totally sucked the first time, and now that I'm 47 and much MUCH cooler as a person (apart from the hot flashes) I think I could do the whole thirty thing way better. Or, at least, this time I'll be much better dressed.
Wow, those cupcakes sound pretty spesh!
Love your blog - always makes me giggle :)
New glasses, yay! People keep asking me if I have new glasses, but I have had them for 2 years. I just don't wear them as much as I'm supposed to.
It sounds like the red is nearly gone! I completely understand the making completely misguided hair changes on a whim thing. On Monday I got mine cut off. Now I have a bob. A freaking bob. With bangs.
*bangs head on desk*
I hate it.
"Psychkitty, qu'est-ce que c'est?"
Oh, Kate. Yeah. They tell me that I'll be 30 in February, but I'm pretty sure it's all an elaborate hoax.
A friend made an offhand comment today about a party which happened a couple of years ago, I swear, but was actually, "ten years ago, when we were sophomores [at University]."
I almost swallowed my tongue.
i missed the blogging! your entries are so entertaining :P
enjoy your [expired] cupcakes. i'll be here, with my political science and mineralogy exams to study for and my calculus II homework to ponder...
When I was in vancouver I walked by a guy wearing a chicken suit that had a shirt on that said not to eat chicken while I was eating a chicken sandwhich.
MMM cupcakes.
MMM not forming cohesive comments.
Oh muffins. *sigh* I really wana have one right now but I only have some caramel chocolate (it's nearly enaugh to not mourn the muffins)... muffins *sigh*
Ok back on topic :)
(quote: Yep, right in the middle of the fourth quarter of the last year of my twenties.)
I really have to remember that one. And if you really ever turn 30 just say you're twentytenth *G*
As I'm still in my midtwentys (26) I'm far enaugh away to laugh at your problems but it's going downhill for me two. A few month ago my 18 year old cousin told me that I should start looking for a husband because my biological clock is ticking.
What is it with the women of that generation that they always need a man around?
(quote: I've given birth to at LEAST four ideas in my life.)
Thats three more than I ever had *G* I know I lose at live but who cares.
Oh muffins. *sigh* I really wana have one right now but I only have some caramel chocolate (it's nearly enaugh to not mourn the muffins)... muffins *sigh*
Ok back on topic :)
(quote: Yep, right in the middle of the fourth quarter of the last year of my twenties.)
I really have to remember that one. And if you really ever turn 30 just say you're twentytenth *G*
As I'm still in my midtwentys (26) I'm far enaugh away to laugh at your problems but it's going downhill for me two. A few month ago my 18 year old cousin told me that I should start looking for a husband because my biological clock is ticking.
What is it with the women of that generation that they always need a man around?
(quote: I've given birth to at LEAST four ideas in my life.)
Thats three more than I ever had *G* I know I lose at live but who cares.
Twenty-ten (I can’t even say the other “T” number) is kind of strange. Supposedly you have to get serious with your life: have a good job, a house, a car, a baby…. bizzare!!!
I still feel like a teen, I have dreams and silly hopes, crazy ideas for new business; I want to keep studying (art, or administration or whatever), a healthy fear of commitment, and for the baby… I recently adopted a street puppy (Benito) and I think is the closest to motherhood that I’m going to get for a loooong time.
Hope you can found a nice balance to this gigantic chance… Happy birthday in advance
Don't worry about being 29 for a couple of years. My 5th grade teacher has been 29 for almost 50 years. :)
My mum and I went to carnival last week and bought a showbag with some puppy gravy in it. I'm wondering whether to rven give it to my dog now XD
Heh. When I was thirty? I was just starting to figure out that I had taken a seriously wrong turn somewhere, and the path that I *kept* trying to find my way on was never going to straighten out. When I was 32, I quit my job and ran away from home. Took me about five years to get it straightened out and figure out WTF. I figure I got my mid-life crisis out of the way early. Now I'm 45, and I've pretty much mastered the answer I found in my 30s, and I'm embarking on *another* adventure.
I guess what I'm saying is that I think that we're all going to get to reinvent ourselves several times over the course of a lifetime, given the way things move and change so fast these days. Every decade is probably going to be like a whole new life.
I mean, dude, I found out this week that Annie Liebovitz gave birth to her oldest daughter when she was *51*. I have no idea how she managed the sleep deprivation -- I suspect that hired help may have been involved. But still. 51.
mmh.. do't think I remeber you *bg*
nah, I really missed you posting, 8 days can seems to be AGES exspecially on a Blog.
you know that Phark could become a word of it'S own? like frak or snark-ish or smexy or.. well let's write a defeneition for the dictionary and send it to them^^
I told my mother that I will be 20 next year when she was drinking. She nearly choked on her tea.
It will be december next year, but still...
I still hate my new hair.
Hi Kate. Thanks for the update. It is good to hear from you again. Your entries always make for some interesting and enjoyable reading. They are always good for a chuckle or two.
Ah, red hair color. That is the hardest color to get away from. For some strange reason, red seems to always be the dominant color especially if your natural color has any red tint at all.
Now you have us very curious about the mysterious plans for February. Speculation...Speculation...
By the way, 30 is not so bad. I like it so much that I have been holding there for 4 years now.
Tell 'P' happy birthday from all of us.
Good luck with the writing.
I really need to hear more about these life altering cupcakes.
As a vegan who rarely gets to eat cupcakes, I need to live vicariously through you. How was the texture? What was the flavor? And the frosting? Tell me all about the frosting. Silver wrapper? Paper wrapper?
I need to learn how to bake. Thinking about these cupcakes is gonna drive me mad.
You know, you could always try counting birthdays backwards.. so next birthday you'll be 28! ;)
Hi there! Yeah, Kate...I slightly remember a Kate..Uhmm, yehh, I know who you are...It's been a long time hasn't it? No? Eight (Nine) days only? hummm, yeh, as I said, a long time.
Thirty...so terrifying...I now what you mean...actually, being in my last *teen, I have no clue about what you're saying...but the zero is always a big deal lol.
And please, let me now more about those life-altering cupcakes... Right now I'm needing to change a bit...
But, talking about work, 7 pages being so little is a relative thing...I'm sure those 7 pages are A1 pages with font size 4...yeh, everyone uses that...I'm sure that's the kind of pages you have. So, I just have to congratulate you for the excellent work! 7 A1 pages with font size 4!! Wow, that's a lot in only 8 days.
And finally for the February mystery...hummmm...TELL US MORE! TELL US MORE!
Ok, bye for now, and good luck with the play! :)
You are so cute! Definitely stick with the cupcakes!
Very impressed about the play and songwriting--music as well as words? I am in awe!
And 30 was *waaaay* more fun than 29! Trust me, I'm staring 40 in the face!
Let me see if I can remember "29"..hmm...uhm.....Nope! over 30 isn't so bad, however loss of concentration seems to set in shortly thereafter. Where was I? Oh..right, at 30 I had changed jobs 5 times and still didn't have any kids. Now, though, at 30+some I have achieved more knowledge in the direction that I am heading, but just need to decide which path to take to get there(does that make any sense?). I am having writer's block just trying to make a comment on your blog! I think I need a cupcake! And REAL Coffee not the unleaded stuff.
Things I should be doing: cooking dinner for flatmates, organizing a script pitch for tomorrow, reading at least one book out of seven on adaptation, defining 'World Cinema'.
What I'm actually doing: catching up on a certain persons' last eight days whilst watching some of Australia's finest act their little hearts out in a popular and yet, oh so cheesy, soap.
I'm pulling a 'PHARK' if you will...and that will be the excact term I use as my excuse tomorrow.
As for the whole, in hushed tone, turning 30 thing you don't look a day over 29 and 3/4 ;-)
Must be off, I hear a pan of boiling water and a noodle based product calling for me.
Wooohoooooooooo! Kate's back! Seriously, girl... you SURE that's the decaf you're on?
And yes. Cat + Gravy = Disaster. My cat gets vicious when she doesn't get hers.
You know, I never really thought about it before, but I've got to second crownglass39--the 30's are gooood years.
Post a pic of yourself in those awesome glasses!
Millefiori
Yes. Gravy makes cats CRAZY!
Hmmnnn... I turn 16 in 23 days! sorry, telling EVERYONE... I think that is a very productive use of time!I mean um on, who doesnt like drinkingg? who doesnt like eating outofdate cupcakes? 'all work and no play...etc.' wotever, I'm probably making as much sense as a leprechaun on speed. cyas!...well technically i wont considering i've never met you..but still!
xnomix
What kind of "gift" did Rufus leave you? My cat, Tybalt, leaves me dead mice presents. Cats! Gotta love them!
Don't worry you get over the anxiety of being thirty in about a year. When it replaced by obsessing about the upcoming 35. And after you pass 35 you realize how silly you were being because 35 is YOUNG. Now 40 that's old. But I'm still ok, because I'll only be 37 tomarrow. That's still closer to 35 than it is 40....but its closer to 40 than 30......OMG I'm gonna be 40 soon! WAHHHH! Where is a life altering cupcake when you need one?
-Mangst, whose having to sign in annon because blogger won't accept my password. It can't be that I'm getting old and forgetful, no way. *g*
*perks*
Does 'plans for February' involve a certain con in the UK?! Oh go on, keep it a mystery for now, in the meantime I'll keep my fingers crossed.
You think 30 is terrifying? Try 40.
I have red ends...I feel not me without red hair (I was born with white blonde lol) but my hair is now an Auburn colour so its slightly red and I might go get it cut one day so all my hair is one colour!
And as for plans for Feb...(That made my heart jump a little)...could you possibly be coming to the Pegasus Convention in London????? (Please say you are!)
My cats go crazy for salt and vinegar flavoured potato chips. Nutters.
three things: bank on the cupcakes and how did you add your links? mine won't upload. good news about Rufus, its hard to find good cats
k2
Your blog always makes me laugh...
it's very uplifting.
I'm already panicking about my 40th birthday, and it's still 4+ years away. Because oh my god FORTY.
Red never leaves your hair, I swear. I've dyed over it, and it still looks red. So I figured, I guess I'll just stay a redhead. Except for when I'm lazy and don't dye it for a year, and then it's just ugly. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. Ahem.
Also, my Rufus clone says hello. He would like some gravy.
I gave in. I made some cupcakes.
Between you and Grey's Anatomy, the cupcake thing just wouldn't go away.
I'm approaching 30 now (cautiously and making no sudden movements). But I don't feel like I'm getting old. I try to think "Woo Hoo! I've survived another year!" Every day is another triumph over mortality.
And a few mind-altering cupcakes can't hurt. *grins*
Too bad Armageddon in Wellington, New Zealand, is usually in April.
That would be awesome.
Yep, right in the middle of the fourth quarter of the last year of my twenties. I'm fine with that. Tooooootally fine. My mother had given birth to four children and pursued two different careers by age thirty, but that's fine.
I feel your pain. I am a couple years behind you but my first real job out of college was at a place where most of my co-workers children were older than me. My birthday rolled around and I came in to find a cake on my desk with a note "Happy 23rd birthday - you can't really be 23. NO ONE is 23!". That afternoon, over cake, I was subjected to story after story of how my "peers" were married or married with three kids or finishing their PhD's by age 23.
I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or run screaming from the building. It wasn't a sense of me not having accomplished as much as these nice folks by the grand old age of 23, it was more an overwhelming feeling of cognitive dissonance - why on earth would I be married or with littles underfoot? I felt so YOUNG until they started talking. Stupid co-workers.
The point - and I swear there was one - is that your true path doesn't need to look like anyone else's. In fact, if it did - it wouldn't be the best path for you, now would it?
Be at peace (and try to take the impending big 3-0 in stride - after all, it's only a number). ~Vesica, quite content at 27
That will teach me - I'm not on the net for a few days and come back to find two updates from you. Woo hoo!
I know what you mean about red ends. I'm blonde and went burgundy and ended up having to cut my hair much shorter to get rid of the red when I decided to go back blonde.
Turning 30 is nowt - I'm looking at turning 35 in January but that's fine. Especially when my friends seem to go age-blind and think I'm only 26! :D
February sounds interesting, can't wait to see what you hope to have planned. *bounce*
I just wanted to tell you, I enjoy reading your blog so much, because you always make me laugh :D I'm glad you haven't forgotten your blog ;)
Even if you turn 30, the mind stays young :D Just pretend to be as lively as you were 20 =)
I definitely learned not to give a cat gravy. My cat is like a gravyholic.My dad gave her some wet food to see if she would eat something other than fry food and what does she do?!?!She licks the gravy.And ignores the food.And now she's got my dad totally wrapped around her little paw.She has to
have the gravy at a certain temperature.That means she gets her gravy microwaved for 7 seconds. And before the gravy incident, she was addicted to these nugget treats.And before that, she loved these other treats.
Hooroar for you for getting an outline done.Brownie points for you!
Anywho, I'm going to face the big city of New York next Saturday and see Spamalot on Broadway. I can't wait.I'm part of the lights crew at my high school drama club.That's the only big thing coming up for me.
Best wishes in getting rid of Writer's Block!
You are so funny - I forsee ( looks into crystal ball) as long life as a successfull writer who manages to stay 28.9 years of age for.....however long it takes.
namaste!
May I suggest a combination of drink and cupcakes (well kinda cupcakey anyways). Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide. Worth every guilty second while eating it.
Plus it makes a good excuse to procrastinate and just sit basking in the glory that is Bailey's Irish Cream.... mmmmm....
Hey i like your blog site very cool, sorry i only know one person who has a blog and he is in medical school, just wanted to say that i liked episode of "Mckay and Mrs. Miller" please do more and i think your brother cute see ya later
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