The Swearing Jar/

Well, it's been...oh...two and a half months since my last post. My time away from you lovely people has included:

ahem

A visit to Vancouver, my brother officially becoming OLD, a bad haircut, a new pair of pants (they're not easy to come by), trying to embrace singledom and failing miserably, copious amounts of sushi, meeting and working with the lovely and talented Jewel Staite and Robert Picardo, driving a golf cart for the first time (NOT over Joseph Mallozzi, despite rumours to the contrary!), a bladder infection (no, no, not ME -- my cat. It was expensive. I'm considering euthanasia...not really), exploring my new neighbourhood, a successful cleanse/ detox/ de-chocolafication, writing a brand new short film script called "By Any Other Name", a growing addiction to Dancing With the Stars, attending a dance recital that my twin four-year-old nieces were in (cutest thing I've ever seen), a horrifying audition in front of Ben Elton (who was hilarious and kind, but whose ears may never recover from my glass-shattering high E), a new short play I wrote for UnSpun Theatre's fundraiser, a pair of busted kneecaps (from running, not from an encounter with the mob), a book launch for Jacob McArthur Mooney's first book of poems, an absolute obsession with the new MacBook Air (it's so tiny. I want to eat in in a sandwich), neglecting to pay my student loans, neglecting to do my taxes (I'm working on it), getting a spot in the Toronto Fringe Festival (yaaaaaaay), casting said Fringe show, discovering my new favorite brunch restaurant (Insomnia on Bloor Street), falling even more in love with Amy Adams, discovering Luke Doucet two years after everyone else did, getting a joe job that I actually LIKE...and...last but not least...buying a cool new raincoat.

Phewf.

Now that THAT'S out of the way...

Here is a little blurb about the play I am currently writing for the Toronto Fringe Festival. I hope you will all come out and see it!

THE SWEARING JAR

by Kate Hewlett

directed by Geoffrey Pounsett

starring: Deborah Grover, Andrew Pifko, Janet Porter and Christopher Stanton

"You are the love of my life, you asshole.”

Simon and Carey are the perfect couple. But when Carey performs at Simon’s fortieth birthday celebration, she is forced to come to terms with the greatest lie her husband ever told. From the writer of Humans Anonymous and the director of A Quiet Place comes a bittersweet comedy about marriage, music, migraines…and swearing.

Acclaim for 6AM Tango’s last show:

"Five stars! Great pacing, engaging comic performances and a generous sprinkling of laugh-out-loud lines…” – Eye Weekly
“Best of the Fringe”, “Best Ensemble” – NOW Magazine
“Sharp, funny and heartbreaking” – Online review
“Critics’ Pick” – Backstage Magazine, New York City

More info to come...

K.
p.s. The fantabulous jar drawing is by Peter Mooney, the multitalented actor/artist/demo-reel-maker/screenwriter/dvd stealer/old dog adopter.

All Done! /

So...The Last New Year is done. Well, for me it is. For the director, much of the work has just begun, but for me...vacation time! I really, really, really, really, really want to go somewhere hot and sunny and write my face off (not literally. Faces are important.) Unfortunately, I am broke (yet again) and I don't really tan anyway (scottish/irish/english heritage) and I probably wouldn't get any work done if I DID go, because I'd just drink seventeen pina coladas a day, sleep it off, then go back for more. So I'm thinking of doing a vacation-at-home type of deal. You know, booking a massage, exercising (remember exercise?), eating chocolate, taking myself out for dinner, seeing movies, getting a haircut, buying a lint roller, taking long baths with bottles of beer/wine (not mixed together), getting my eyebrows waxed (not off. Just thinned. I'm going to have to buy mine collars if I don't do something about them soon), write a musical, write a short film, hang out with my friends (some of them NEW friends -- I love clicking with new cool people. eg. Mayko from the movie), going for brunches, giving up Red Bull, buying some new boots, spending quality time with Rufus and Martha (my cats -- not my eyebrows) and catching up on some family/friend/business emails.
Sounds fun, huh? (And significantly less expensive than going to Puerto Plata. Depending on which boots I buy.)
I have a big musical theatre audition on Sunday which is FREAKING ME OUT because I haven't sung Andrew Lloyd Webber-esque songs in a LOOOONNNNNG TIIIIIIMMMMME. My only goal is to get through it without crying, coughing up a hairball or shattering any windows.
After that, a big Stratford audition to prep for.
Then...the non-vacationy vacation begins...
K.

Day 13 /

I got the giggles while eating breakfast this morning (an All Bran bar -- surprisingly delicious) because I realized that I blogged about sitting on the camera and then never posted again! You probably all think that I've been in bum surgery ever since. Not so. I just got busy. (Not like "got busy". Just like "became busy". I don't want to start any false rumors here.)

So, we have three days left on The Last New Year and then we are FINITO. Phil finished on Friday and left for some sun-soaked adventure (jerk), but the rest of us are still going strong. Today, I get to have a big argument with Mayko (not in real life -- she's waaaay too nice for that), see Andrew shirtless, play with an ice pick and hopefully not sit on any expensive camera equipment.

These twelve to thirteen hour days are killin' me! (And making me drop my g's, apparently.) But it sure has been (and continues to be) a wonderful adventure.

p.s. Mike, if you're reading this: GET BACK TO WORK, LAZYPANTS!

Day Eight /

Today, I sat on the camera.

It was an accident.

I also broke my zipper, got the giggles, needed seven tries to get a match lit, had a crying scene, and patted a partially naked lady on the shoulder.

That's all you get.

K.

DAMN IT. I MISSED DAY 4 /

So here's the thing. Usually, in my limited experience, film and TV work involves a lot of sitting around, eating triple chocolate donuts, drinking seventeen cups of coffee, trying not to fall asleep on those cozy trailer sofas so I won't mess up my hair, going back for more donuts, chatting with handsome tanned men and fake-breasted women, avoiding trips to the bathroom JUST IN CASE the sound guy forgot to turn off my microphone, etc. etc...

Not so with The Last New Year! THERE IS NO SITTING AROUND. There is very little waiting. There is not a lot of down time. (I still manage to be consuming my fair share of chocolate treats, though. Let face it: there's always time for sugar. And partially hydrogenated oils.) This is making the experience a fantastic and challenging one, but it is making the blogging difficult! Today is a lighter day for me, so I should be able to put together a proper post. So far today, I've only eaten M&Ms and Advil, so forgive me if I sound high. Or wired. Or both.

Anyway...yesterday (Day 4) was a phenomenal day. Before I go into that, let me first explain the premise of the film: It tells the story of a group of twenty-somethings that get together every year for a New Year's Eve party. But this year, one of them has gone missing. So it's a very interesting movie to shoot, because it all takes place in one night, at one party, in one location (which fortunately comes well-stocked with triple chocolatey goodness.) Yesterday, we shot all the dinner scenes. We sat on the floor all day (on cushions, thank god) and drank "schnapps" (water) and "wine" (apple juice). We got to improvise like crazy, which was loads of fun. I have never had the opportunity to improvise on camera before, and it was a blast. We all laughed and talked and made up new dialogue, but also managed to find our way back to the script whenever necessary. My character is bossy and uptight (I can't think WHY they cast ME) so I got to tell everyone what to do. Fun times.

So day 4 involved some more great work with a stellar cast and director -- they really are amazing -- and the discovery that when I hit thirty, I stopped being able to sit on the floor for long periods of time. I've got the knees and hips of a grandmother.


Day 5 /

Now on to TODAY. It is 1:30pm. So far, I have been on set for three hours and it feels like three minutes. (It's funny how on set, time either flies or crawls, depending on how many scenes you are in.) I shot a scene this morning with Phil (my buddy from Humans Anonymous and the P in PHARK) which went okay, I think. We were both sort of struggling with what the scene was about, but with the help of Garfield (the director extraordinaire) we figured it out.

time time time

la la la

Okay. Now it's 6:45pm! Where does the time go? We did a whole bunch of dancing scenes earlier this afternoon (without music!) and fortunately, I got to be the wallflower. No dancing for me. This evening things might change. Ohhh dear. Is the world ready for me dancing on film? No. No it isn't.

Gotta go!

Hope these updates are somewhat interesting...

K.

Day 3 /

Today was good but LONNNNNNG. (Yes, with six Ns.) It was the first day of shooting for the lovely actor/co-writer Casey Austin and she did a bang-up job. (And apparently I have turned into a 70-year-old, pipe-smoking British man, because who the hell else says "bang-up"? Ohhhh dear.) She (Casey) looks just like a young Susan Sarandon -- it's uncanny!

What else to report...

Mayko did a shooter (of water, but still) without using her hands. That's an image I'll never forget.

For now, that's all I can leave you with. I need to sleep. Twelve-hour days are brutal! Who knew?

Soon,

K.

Day 2 /

Wowsers. There wasn't even time to BREATHE today, let alone blog. (And I'm already having difficulty breathing, since I'm wearing a corset for half of the film!)

To summarize: lots of laughter, too many gummie bears, not enough water, a little bit of partial nudity (ohhh dear), some crazy costumes, a tickle trunk, characters masks, fake beer and a whole lot of whispering.

Curious yet??

I promise a more detailed update tomorrow!

For those of you who were at Pegasus 3 this weekend -- how did it go?? Hope it was a blast...

K.