Tuesdays/

Ahhh. 9:57 am on a Tuesday morning. Tuesdays, for me, are actually more like Mondays for other people, because I usually start my work week on a Tuesday. Mondays for me are about resenting the fact that my work week should have begun, watching bad television, procrastinating and feeling guilty. Tuesdays are about getting my life together and being productive.

So I'm posting again.

I am not writing my play, or composing music, or helping little old ladies cross the street, or going to the gym, or pushing my cat around the apartment and calling it "exercise". No, I am contributing to my long lost blog before heading to a voice audition for some kind of cereal commercial. I'm a little concerned that I won't be able to actually form cohesive sentences at the audition, because I had a rough night last night and I am ridiculously tired. I have also only had a DECAF COFFEE today, not a real one. See how good I am at fighting ulcers? (Yes, it's possible that I had three beers last night, but I was alone, so they don't count. And one of them was a Guinness, which is full of vitamins and can repair damage to the stomach lining. A very respectable alcoholic told me that.)

Let me just explain that when I say "rough night" I am not exaggerating: I sleepwalk. And talk. And grind my teeth. And I think it's possible that I move furniture around with my head, because how else could my neck hurt this much? The sleepwalking makes for some busy nights. For instance, I lived alone in my last apartment, and I woke up one morning with lip gloss in one hand and some small change in the other hand. On a different night, I somehow pulled down all the health and fitness books (all four of them) from my bookshelf, and I woke up in the morning with "Firm Buns, Trim Thighs" (I wish I was joking) and "The Sports Nutrition Journal" lying next to me on the bed.

In the PHARK house, I recently climbed the ladder up to my loft space in my sleep, then woke up for a minute, decided it was dangerous, climbed back down, fell asleep again and then moved the entire ladder (which is NOT light) over to a different wall. When I woke up, the ladder was blocking the bathroom. Interesting.

This is probably a little more information about my sleep habits than the internet needed.

On to a new topic...um...I did a telephone interview yesterday about McKay and Mrs. Miller and A Dog's Breakfast, which was lots of fun. I was actually pretty nervous, which meant that I did a lot of really loud laughing (generally at my own jokes) and that my vocabulary was reduced by 75% . I hope it turns out okay.

The Queen West Art Crawl was very cool (ohhh dear -- my vocabulary hasn't returned to normal yet.) Lisa's photographs were excellent as always, and there were paintings, sculptures, jewelry displays, roasted yams (as food, not as art), sketches, accessories and all sorts of other good things. Even though I can't draw a circle, I was still able to appreciate the fact that other people can. One artist had painted a canoe paddle that looked so real I was convinced I could pick it up. (I didn't try.) She had also painted a suitcase that, again, was so real and seemingly three dimensional that I couldn't stop staring at it. The artist thought I was a little creepy.

Now I will stop talking about art before I expose myself as someone who knows nothing about art.

As for my writing...I HAVE STARTED THE PROJECT! FOR REAL! I wrote a monologue, a scene, and a song (well, the music for a song -- some William Shakespeare guy wrote the lyrics), but the research phase is not going well. So...I am thinking of asking the people who read this blog for some help. Since approximately 700-800 people visit Loft in Translation every day (I can't even talk about how much that blows my mind), I thought I would use that opportunity to do some research. I am supposed to interview people from across Canada for the first phase of the project, but I would love to expand that to Canada and the world. The play I am writing deals with violence against young people, so some of the questions I will be asking aren't easy to ask or to answer. Before I ask any questions, though, I'd love to know whether or not any of you loft-in-translationites would be willing to answer them. I can give out one of my seventeen thousand email addresses and you can send your responses there, instead of posting them on the blog.

The other thing I'd love would be the "To be or not to be" speech from Hamlet in as many languages as possible, if any of you have copies of Hamlet in languages other than English. Anyway...I will be more specific in my next post, but I just thought I'd ask everyone's opinion about helping me with the research portion of my new play, Use My Babies Well.

How does that sound? Is that a terrible idea? An okay idea? Coffee? (Oh, shoot...my subconscious just typed that. I hate it when it does that.)

Have a happy Tuesday...

K.