Camera Envy and Why I Love Cons/

First of all, for the 3 people out there who AREN'T reading this blog because of Stargate, I just want to clarify that ‘cons’ means ‘conventions’, not ‘convicts’. I do not love convicts, although I am sure there are some very nice ones out there -- maybe even ones who were wrongly convicted or who feel really bad about what they did and wish they hadn’t done it. Even so, I don’t love them. I love conventions.

So…I haven’t posted in a VERY LONG TIME and I thought it would be great to do a little photo journal thingy of the sci-fi convention in London, my trip to Italy, my cats’ excitement at my return, etc. The only problem is...I don’t have a camera.

To hell with it.

I’m doin’ it anyway. So here it is:

A Virtual Photo Journal, by Someone Who Spent All Her Money on an Expensive Haircut Instead of a Camera:

1/ If I had a camera, this would be a photograph of me going through security at the airport. I would no doubt be setting off the alarm, which happens 9 out of 10 times I travel, whether I am wearing a belt or not. Of course, this photograph is illegal, but luckily it’s not a real photograph, so I can get away with it. I could even have me wearing a metal suit in the photograph, with Martha under one arm and Rufus under the other very tired arm, setting off every alarm in the building, and that would still be okay. See? Who needs a camera? THIS PHOTO IS AWESOME.

2/ The next photo would be of the other guests at the con. It would include the delightful Erin Chambers (who was on Veronica Mars, so is kind of like royalty in my books. She is also a lovely, kind person with a beautiful singing voice. And she was on Veronica Mars. Oh! Hey! She was also on Veronica Mars. I love Veronica Mars.) This photo would also include the very handsome Dan Payne, who for some bizarre reason plays a wraith on Stargate, which means that some person out there decided to put uglifying makeup and a wig on Dan Payne. I think this person should be arrested for crimes against hotmanity. Also in this photograph would be the charming Aaron Douglas (from Battlestar Galactica! Holy crap!), the hilarious David Nykl (the only ‘David’ on SGA I get along with), the lovely and talented Chuck Campbell (who should be congratulated on his stamina with cons – again, I mean stamina with conventions, not stamina with convicts...ew...), the intelligent and witty Ryan Robbins, the wild, wacky and inspiring Ivy Isenberg...and some David Hewlitt guy.

I spelled that wrong on purpose. In my first TV gig ever, my name was spelled Kate "Hewlitt" in the credits. So sad.

The photo might also possibly include me staying out until 5am with these people. Twice.

3/ This photo is a real beauty. It is a picture of all the other people I met in London: the costumed wonders, the Jedi Chefs, the “Wicked” Addict (like me), the people I chatted with at the bar, the crazy con dancers, the teddy bear and chocolate and booze and card and Cd and unicorn prism and other gift-givers who went to so much trouble to bring me nice things (although cards are easier to take home on the plane!!), the people who waited in line FOREVER for autographs and photo ops, the brave folks who asked questions at the Q&A (Q&As are still terrifying for me, by the way, unless I’m up there with my brother), my lovely assistant Sandra, all the people who volunteered their time, Bryan Superman Coney, Erin and Chuck and Ryan’s delightful significant others (Carson and Jennifer and Rebecca), etc. etc. etc. This photo would suck if it actually existed, because everyone’s head would be the size of a dust mote. See? No need for a camera when you have imaginaaaaaaation.

4/ This non-existent photo is of my mother’s appendix, which burst while David and Jane and I were in Italy. This is a gross photo. Be glad that I don’t have a camera.

(She is a million times better now, which is why I’m allowed to make appendix jokes.)

My mum is the coolest woman on the planet, by the way. She is beautiful and smart and funny and living in Italy all by herself (thus brave) and a wonderful, sisterlike mum. (Sister as in ‘sister’, not as in ‘nun’. My mother is not a nun.) I miss her. Mum, if you’re reading this…can I borrow some money to buy a camera?

5/ This is a photo of a camera. I want one.

6/ This is a photo of 'M', catsitter extraordinaire, drowning in cat hair while I was away. It WOULD also be a photo of my cats, Rufus and Martha, in which they look incredibly adorable (though 50% obese – I’m not saying which 50%). However, I am not allowed to talk about my cats anymore because my friend Chris (the one who can’t pack – yes, I mean you, Chris) thinks I talk about cats too much in this blog. My other friend Chris thinks that I have toxoplasmosis from cat litter and that it's affecting my brain. I figure that the only way to prove to the Chrises that I do not have toxoplasmosis is to stop reminding them that I have cats. (Cats? What cats?) I'm also going to stop being neurotic, negative and reckless (all signs of toxoplasmosis. I just looked it up on Wikipedia.)

7/ This is a photo of me NOT having toxoplasmosis. Notice how happy and optimistic and restrained I am. And no cats in sight...

Okay. I am done with the fake photos.

To summarize: the convention was so much fun and I hope I can go to lots more (like the one in Germany? Australia?); I met cool actors (some of whom were in Veronica Mars and Battlestar Awesomelactica); I met fantastic fans; I went to Italy and got to know the Lucchese hospital intimately; I came home and saw my cats who I won’t talk about anymore so that my “friends” stop thinking I have “toxoplasmosis”.

Have a happy Sunday, everybody!

K.