Monday, October 26, 2009

Monday?! What?! Already? /

Well, I spent the entire day thinking it was Sunday, so I'm going with that excuse and blogging today instead. I almost missed my own dinner party, in fact, because I was so convinced that it was still the weekend. Oops. The dinner party went very well, though. Tacos. Veganlicious.

I am so tired that typing is requiring more energy than a spin class would on a normal day. Not that I do spin classes, but if I did, I think this is how I would feel. On a normal day.

That made a-no-a-sense-a.
(Yes, I have Italian class tomorrow. Domani! Looking forward to that. Si. Prego. Puccini.)

I had a lovely week with lovely people. Parties and meetings and writing and classes and more writing and a bit too much wine. (I'm back! Yaaaaahooooooo!)

Both of the cats are asleep and I'm jealous of them. I think I have to go to bed. Otherwise, I might start saying nonsensical things.

Potato prom pants.
(I warned you.)

k.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Start spreading the shoes...or booze...depending on which one you prefer as a title /

Another Sunday, another blog entry. (See? When I make rules for myself, I stick to them. Sometimes. Unless they relate to chocolate. Or spending less money. Or moisturizing more often.)

I am on an airplane on my way home from New York City, where I intended to take a vacation, but where I actually spent the full two days trying to figure out the subway system. I missed seeing a reportedly fabulous musical because I waited patiently for over an hour for the express train…which doesn’t run on weekends. But, I mean, how the heck was I supposed to know that? I’m a tourist, not a psychic. Sure, there was a massive sign on every single column that said, “THE EXPRESS TRAIN DOES NOT RUN ON WEEKENDS. I REPEAT: THE EXPRESS TRAIN DOES NOT RUN ON WEEKENDS. ATTENTION: KATE HEWLETT. NO EXPRESS TRAIN ON WEEKENDS. YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU, DUM-DUM.” But how was I to know?

To be honest, the actual reason why I waited so long and missed the musical was that I was so engrossed in my book, I didn’t notice the absence of the train. What was this magical and all-consuming book, you may ask? Well, imaginary friend who asks all the right questions, the book is called “The Book Thief” and it is now officially in my top five books of all time. It is wonderful. (Damn sad because it takes place in Munich during WWII, but wonderful.) It’s one of those “maybe don’t read this in public” books, though, because on every other page I found myself welling up. In New York, I’m now known as the crazy random crying lady who waits for non-trains for over an hour.

I had yet another subway mishap last night, when I got on the Q train instead of the Some Other Letter I Can’t Remember Right Now train and ended up in Brooklyn thirty six blocks away from where I was staying. And it was 1:30 in the morning. I am awesome. I walked the whole way, though, so I got some terror-filled exercise.

The good parts of the weekend:

-the Bridge Theatre Company’s season launch party (and no, curious imaginary friend, I didn’t drink booze. Thanks for asking. I’m at day 22 of 28 days on the wagon! Maybe the longest I’ve ever gone…since high school)
-hanging out with Martin Gero (twice! That guy just keeps following me around. Buying me dinner, finding time in his busy schedule to see readings of my plays, introducing me to Bill Nye the Science Guy – so frustrating)
-MEETING BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY (who is very funny and charming, by the way)
-spending time with one of my oldest friends (with whom, coincidentally, I always used to get in trouble in Science class. I guess that’s why I’m an actor, not a successful physicist with my own show. Yeah, let’s blame her for that. Dana, it's your fault that "Kate Schmate the Science Date" isn't sweeping the nation.
-buying some fantabulous Steve Madden boots (story to follow)
-working with a great new bunch of people on the Swearing Jar script.

The boot story: my friend and I went shopping. I spotted, flirted with, fell in love with and then acquired a pair of grey awesomeboots. As I was walking out of the store already sporting said awesomeboots, I noticed that one of my feet was considerably larger than the other one. Being a woman and a Canadian, I blamed myself. “My feet must be two different sizes," I said, "and I've just never noticed it before. Oh well." My friend, also a woman and a Canadian, but with bigger cahones, suggested that I check the bottom of the boots. One was a size larger than the other one. My feet are fine. Not gorgeous, but fine. I exchanged awesomeboot #2 for awesomeboot #3 and now all is well.

Oh! We are about to land in Toronto.

Now I get to see my cats.

Have a great week…

k.
p.s. Those aren't my boots in the picture. I just thought it might be nice to include a picture. Of boots.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Happy Thanksgiving! /

Well, it's Sunday. And I'm blogging. Just like I promised. But I've been writing a feature film treatment for the last four hours and my eyes are bleeding from staring at a computer screen for so long, so this will be BRIEF.

I'm off to the Hewletts for a turkey dinner (bringing my own tofurky slices and mushroom gravy, obviously...) and then to a friend's house for the tail-end of their Thanksgiving dinner. I feel like I should be writing tonight, but Thanksgiving is about loved ones, right? And mashed potatoes.

Here are some things that I am grateful for: my friends, my cats, my family (not in that order), The Wire, sunshine in the morning, rain anytime, the fact that I get to do what I love for a living (even though I forget that sometimes), my health, my hips (that's a lie, but if I say it enough I might start to believe it), chocolate soy milk, my apartment, my roommate, the fact that I saw a mouse in my bedroom the other day but haven't seen another one since, good movies, bad movies that make me believe I could write a movie, my freedom and my friends. (My friends are worth mentioning twice.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! And skip the turkey!

k.

Sunday, October 04, 2009


I'm a blogging machine! /

Look at that. I'm back already.

At this rate, you'll be so sick of me by next Sunday, you'll be begging for the recent days of loft-in-translationlessness, when procrastination and facebook dominated my days, and pilsner and 30 Rock dominated my nights. No more! (But mostly because my video store doesn't have Season 3 of 30 Rock yet...)

This is just a quick update, because I want to answer a question from one of the lovely people who commented on my last post (thanks for the responses, by the way. I can't believe you guys are giving me a second chance! Or, if you found me on twitter, a first chance...) Arlessiar from Germany asked about "Fancy" and about my role in it, so I though I'd give you a quick rundown of the show and post a photo (I hope I'm allowed to do that...hmm...if I get sued, I'll blame Germany).

I found this synopsis of Fancy on inbaseline.com:

"Maureen Fancy is the host of a children's TV show. On screen she is perky and happy, but off screen she deals with the complications of the adult world."

It's kind of like 30 Rock meets Mr. Rogers. The writing is PHENOMENAL. Funny and touching and charming and smart (written and co-produced by my new idol, Wendy Hopkins). I play Maureen Fancy, and my best friend Leslie is played by the hilarious Jana Peck, with whom I instantly connected. She is insanely talented and has great things in her future...mark my words...

The male lead is played by Patrick McKenna. (Yes! Patrick McKenna of Traders and Red Green fame! If I believed in "squee"ing, I would "squee" right now.) He is such an amazing man and I learned so much from working with him, even though it was only for one week. Not only is he the consummate professional -- he is NICE. And genuine. I think if this thing goes to series, we could encounter some giggling issues because he's so damn funny and I'm so damn easily distracted, but other than that, it'll be smooth sailing.

We shot the pilot in August in Vancouver, but we won't find out until March (MARCH! FIVE MONTHS! TORTURE!) if it will go to series (on CBC). I will be over the moon if it does, but even if it doesn't, it was one of the greatest work experiences I've ever had. And I learned a lot. And, more importantly...it was fun.

See you Sunday...

...or in several hours if I keep avoiding writing this damn film treatment...

k.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Remember Me?? /

Well, folks...now that I've probably lost any readers I once had...I am officially re-committing to Loft in Translation. I'm going to aim for one blog post every Sunday and see how that goes. If I do not live up to this promise and you happen to run into me on the chilly streets of Toronto, feel free to rap my knuckles or spit in my eye (unless you have hepatitis) or just yell mean things about my thighs at me. I will understand.

So here's why I'm coming back:

I just read a blog entry written by a friend of mine. Well...an almost friend. A cool acquaintance with whom I will hopefully be friends at some point, but so far, we're not friends. Well not really. Not yet. What was I talking about again?

-ahem-

I just read a blog entry written by an acquaintance of mine, and it was brilliant. If it had been the first page of a novel, I would have read the whole book. If it had been a movie synopsis, I would have forked out fifteen bucks to sit in one of those large, sense-assaulting movie theatres with too many lights and the undeniable smell of cat urine, and watched the whole damn movie. If the romantic things in his post had been written about me, I might be married right now (if I believed in marriage. Which maybe I do. I'm not sure. I can't decide.) Anyway...this one page blog post reminded me that all kinds of writing can be moving or important or just plain entertaining and that my time would be better spent writing blog posts (even if they're at best mediocre and at worst eye-stabbingly annoying) than spending seven hours on facebook looking at baby pictures of the children of the people I didn't really know in high school.

So today I'm blogging about...

Wait for it...

It's going to be earth shattering...

Near Beer.

(Did that move you? Did it? Did I succeed? I'm a bit rusty. Give me some time.)

I happen to love near beer. True, it tastes kind of terrible in a familiar yet disappointing way and when you order it in a bar, you get looked at like you're wearing a retainer and a beanie, but it reminds me enough of actual beer that I just can't dislike it. But why do I love it? I think it's the fact that it looks like beer when I'm holding it, fills me up like beer (or perhaps even more so -- man, those things are bubbly) and keeps me looking bad-ass at bars (once the excruciating task of ordering it is over and it's been put in a good old-fashioned non-descript pint glass). Also, if I drink ten near beers, I am ten times less likely to end up with an enormous bill and three awful new friends.

I am currently on Day Seven of no booze (which is really impressive! I go out a lot!) and near beer is saving my bacon. I've also been following a vegan diet for seven days, so I probably shouldn't use expressions with the word 'bacon' in them. And when I say vegan "diet", please don't be fooled. There is nothing diet-y about it. I have never eaten more (or better) in my life. For anyone who's listening: if you ever have to choose between eating organic vegan gluten-free german chocolate cake and finding your soul mate, choose the cake. It's life altering.

I know that you're probably rolling your eyes right now. (It's the gluten-free thing, isn't it...) But it was amazing! Truly! Try it! And go here every day:

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/

It will help a little furry creature.

Thanks for reading this. Welcome back. See you next Sunday! I'm meeting with a story editor on Monday, starting Italian lessons on Tuesday (Si! E vero!), learning how to do my makeup properly on Tuesday night (I'm not so good at the girly stuff -- never have been), doing ADR for 'Fancy' (the pilot I shot in August) on Thursday, and then doing a play reading all day Friday. So there will be lots to talk about! Except that I just did.

Hmmmm...maybe I'll just talk about non-alcoholic wine instead...

k.