Remember Me?? /

Well, folks...now that I've probably lost any readers I once had...I am officially re-committing to Loft in Translation. I'm going to aim for one blog post every Sunday and see how that goes. If I do not live up to this promise and you happen to run into me on the chilly streets of Toronto, feel free to rap my knuckles or spit in my eye (unless you have hepatitis) or just yell mean things about my thighs at me. I will understand.

So here's why I'm coming back:

I just read a blog entry written by a friend of mine. Well...an almost friend. A cool acquaintance with whom I will hopefully be friends at some point, but so far, we're not friends. Well not really. Not yet. What was I talking about again?

-ahem-

I just read a blog entry written by an acquaintance of mine, and it was brilliant. If it had been the first page of a novel, I would have read the whole book. If it had been a movie synopsis, I would have forked out fifteen bucks to sit in one of those large, sense-assaulting movie theatres with too many lights and the undeniable smell of cat urine, and watched the whole damn movie. If the romantic things in his post had been written about me, I might be married right now (if I believed in marriage. Which maybe I do. I'm not sure. I can't decide.) Anyway...this one page blog post reminded me that all kinds of writing can be moving or important or just plain entertaining and that my time would be better spent writing blog posts (even if they're at best mediocre and at worst eye-stabbingly annoying) than spending seven hours on facebook looking at baby pictures of the children of the people I didn't really know in high school.

So today I'm blogging about...

Wait for it...

It's going to be earth shattering...

Near Beer.

(Did that move you? Did it? Did I succeed? I'm a bit rusty. Give me some time.)

I happen to love near beer. True, it tastes kind of terrible in a familiar yet disappointing way and when you order it in a bar, you get looked at like you're wearing a retainer and a beanie, but it reminds me enough of actual beer that I just can't dislike it. But why do I love it? I think it's the fact that it looks like beer when I'm holding it, fills me up like beer (or perhaps even more so -- man, those things are bubbly) and keeps me looking bad-ass at bars (once the excruciating task of ordering it is over and it's been put in a good old-fashioned non-descript pint glass). Also, if I drink ten near beers, I am ten times less likely to end up with an enormous bill and three awful new friends.

I am currently on Day Seven of no booze (which is really impressive! I go out a lot!) and near beer is saving my bacon. I've also been following a vegan diet for seven days, so I probably shouldn't use expressions with the word 'bacon' in them. And when I say vegan "diet", please don't be fooled. There is nothing diet-y about it. I have never eaten more (or better) in my life. For anyone who's listening: if you ever have to choose between eating organic vegan gluten-free german chocolate cake and finding your soul mate, choose the cake. It's life altering.

I know that you're probably rolling your eyes right now. (It's the gluten-free thing, isn't it...) But it was amazing! Truly! Try it! And go here every day:

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/

It will help a little furry creature.

Thanks for reading this. Welcome back. See you next Sunday! I'm meeting with a story editor on Monday, starting Italian lessons on Tuesday (Si! E vero!), learning how to do my makeup properly on Tuesday night (I'm not so good at the girly stuff -- never have been), doing ADR for 'Fancy' (the pilot I shot in August) on Thursday, and then doing a play reading all day Friday. So there will be lots to talk about! Except that I just did.

Hmmmm...maybe I'll just talk about non-alcoholic wine instead...

k.