Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Meet Zarrin: The Wet One /

Okay, now that you're paying attention...

...get your mind out of the gutter.  In fact, get your whole body out of the gutter.  You're gonna get a tapeworm.  Zarrin is "wet" for exactly 90 minutes a day -- the 90 minutes she spends teaching Bikram yoga to the masochistic masses.  (Ever tried Bikram yoga?  I have.  It makes you feel like you could conquer the world... if you could only stop barfing long enough to try.)

Zarrin is amazing.  She's smart, she's fit, she's independent and she's engaged to a bouncer.  (A bouncer at Victoria's Secret in the Eaton Centre, but a bouncer nonetheless.)  Her parents moved from Jamaica to Stratford when she was five.  Then they moved to Orangeville.  Then Port Hope.  Then Oakville.  Then Toronto, after eight-year-old Zarrin went on a surprisingly effective hunger strike.

Zarrin's dad is a nurse, and her mom is a doctor.  (This confuses people more often than you might expect in 2012.)  They've always made a good living, but they don't believe in handouts.  As a teenager, Zarrin's allowance was four dollars a month...and she had to contribute to the utilities bill.  For fifteen years, Zarrin attended a swanky private school in North Toronto, somehow managing to make mid-calf-length kilts and sailor collars look cool.  She hated art and loved Math.  She hated boys and loved her married Math teacher.  She went to McGill because she needed to get away from her parents...and, let's face it, because French guys are hot.

After four years together, Zarrin and her fiance, Chris, are ready to take their relationship to the next level.  When her parents buy a KILLER three-bedroom loft in Cabbagetown as an investment, they agree to rent it to their daughter.  For $2000.00 a month.  Jerks.  If Zarrin wants to live in her dream home and step things up with Chris, there's only one solution:  move in with him.  And Amelie.  And Maxim.  And Jen.  And Jen's bulldog.  (More on these characters later, but you can follow Jen on twitter under the handle @getloft.)

This is where Loft in Translation: The Series, Based on the Blog, Based on My Life (working title...) begins.

Zarrin loves her life, she loves her buddies, she loves her fiance (despite the odd fight sparked by the Victoria's Secret fashion shows he's "forced" to attend.)  But moving in with your boyfriend isn't easy.  And moving in with someone else's boyfriend is even harder.  Especially when he's French.

'Loft in Translation' is a series concept by Kate Hewlett.  Ideas, feedback, corporate sponsors and independently rich benefactors welcome.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Solution: Her parents both just get sex change operations, thus ending the societal confusion.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why doesn't she/they find a cheaper place to rent? There are lots of places in this competitive climate.
Is it higher than the market value? - Why are her parents charging her more than the going rate? Is it gambling/online bingo? Loan shark? What if she stops eating until they make it a more reasonable price?
Does the dog have a treadmill?

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Kate Hewlett said...

Good point about finding a cheaper place to rent, Anonymous. Did adding a description of how awesome the loft is solve the problem?
This is fun! More feedback please!

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...swanky private school in North Toronto, somehow managing to make mid-calf-length kilts and sailor collars look cool."

Perchance, did you attend the Bishop Strapon school?

9:46 AM  
Blogger Misty aka s_aurius said...

I leave for training in Louisianna for a month at JRTC and come back to 2 posts by you! Not just posts, but a series. :)

I look forward to more. I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

7:03 PM  
Blogger TWBrit said...

Sorry, only just read this... I'm like "what? eh? doing what? f'kin parents man!"
But obviously I read the whole post and got it.
The first bit is: as a Brit, I have trouble with the whole concept of the “Fr**ch” guy... that’s a war in the making right there ;-)
Ok, we can assume that Zarrin is a strong woman, a determined woman. Still young, yet insecure in any form of close relationship involving trust and the ability to communicate (due to her parents being A-holes) – especially with her bf being a bouncer and the reputation that bouncers have for “playing away”. At the same time at the kilted school, she knew how to rebel. She learned at a young age what got her attention and she learned how to use these strengths and skills expertly.
Now in adulthood a good part of her life has (while we have called it insecurity) has a maturity far beyond her years. Zarrin knows every part of town, especially the parts her parents don’t. She knows that being body conscious not only keeps her looking desirable, Bikram gives her her daily fix of endorphins that she used get from not such a healthy existence, and like all insane runners etc, is totally addicted to that fix.
She moves into the killer loft, and has to work hard to pay the rent and maintenance on the property (or appears to?).
So from here on in, it can be a delve into a sweet girl with a seedier history/pastimes to make ends meet with incredible in house tension (sexual or otherwise) with any bf/lodger etc. Does the upmarket property lend itself to a certain level/style of income that uses as the ultimate rebellion against her parents? Does she decide to run the places down to cost her parents the loss of value of extreme maintenance bills as revenge?
Does she start gaining extraordinary income and have house guests who suddenly disappear without any form of trace?
Maybe she’s connected to far more people, childhood friends from Jamaica who met up online and whose business interests entice her into a greater income and a world of danger...
There could be a family member or friend who wants to borrow her dog to make a movie, yet won’t tell her the nature of it and keeps taking her dog without asking (ok, sooo just creeped myself out).
Then there is the possibility that nothing at all is what it seems... She rents the loft as a front. She already earns a large amount of money and already owns property in the same block. What would she use the other properties for? What twilight scenes is Toronto famous for? Is she running a vast online empire and uses and needs Bikram to give the energy to do and control all aspects of her complicated compartmentalized life? If so what does this mean? How is she using her power and wealth? What is the business? “Kewl Kilts?”

Kate, your mind at its worse is pretty damn amazing... And yeah I know I still owe beer :-(
But I hope this lot is as out there in concepts as your original post.

12:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no idea why people of this day and age would be confused about their jobs.. maybe it's just personal experience, but the one nurse I remember fondest... the one who went above and beyond the call of duty (and even beyond his rights) to save me was...yes...a guy.. his name was Ivar (just wanted to include that cause he deserve to have his name stored)

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Questions: what is the contact info for the actor Kate Hewlett..? Has Kate Hewlett ever played and/or would consider playing a character of a serious lady scientist..? And if so, then which branch of the sciences is her jam..? Is Kate Hewlett tired of most of the roles of lady scientists being mainly of a variety of stereotype consisting of a woman(usually a blonde) shrieking in terror at the sight of a large toothed beast and fainting in fright only to be rescued by a dashing hero swinging into the scene on a rope or vine to save the day..? Would Kate Hewlett ever be interested in portraying the real life lady scientist named Louise Firouz who published her own biography book, along with the co-author Brenda Dalton, titled: Riding through revolution: How the Chance discovery of a forgotten horse breed took an American woman into revolution, war and intrigue..?

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or how about portraying the real life lady scientist Anne Innis Dagg who published many science books about zoology, feminism and other subjects? She also has a documentary on itunes titled: The woman who loves giraffes. She is a canadian.

1:38 PM  

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