Phark This/

I decided to put up a photo of all the roomies, but it just isn't working. I'm sure it's the computer's fault. Yeah. Nothing to do with me. I'm a technological wizard -- a genius, if you will...except that I've only "chatted" twice in my life, I've never "texted" anyone, and I can't figure out garage band. I can record me singing and playing guitar (poorly) but that's where it ends, folks.

I will get my technological superior (no, not David -- he's all talk, except for that whole "creating his own web-design company" thing) to upload the photo, because it's pretty funny. It's mostly funny because my cat is obese. It's true. I don't know how to help him. If I try to play a game with him, he bats at the toy lamely with an unenthusiastic paw, but won't actually stand up, let alone run. Do they make those hamster wheels for cats? Probably not. Too bad. Although he'd just use it as a bed anyway.

Instead of a photograph, I will talk about my fantastic roomies instead and let you know what they're up to. A word is worth a thousand pictures, in my humble opinion, but I'll change that opinion as soon as I can get the frickin' photo to work.

So...my roommates: P, H, A, R and me (K). PHARK? Our initials spell PHARK. That's gotta mean something. (PHARK: The chemical reaction that occurs when you mix too many artists together and force them to live in one loft.)

P is an absolute delight -- a friend from high school days who I've acted with many many times, and for whom I wrote "Humans Anonymous", the play I produced in July. He's a gifted performer, a handsome dude, he cooks, he cleans...and he's British. And he's not gay, like his character in 'Humans' was. (Nor is he single.)

A is going to be famous one day...maybe one day soon. He will be starring in "The Graduate" opposite Sonja Smits this fall at the Grand Theatre in London, Ontario, as well as heating up the screen in "Warriors of Terra", which has the best trailer of any Canadian film I've ever seen. (Uh...I haven't seen the trailer for "A Dog's Breakfast" yet.)

H is a weird and wonderful writer who I met at the National Theatre School. His plays are dark, funny, moving and smart. He also happens to be a good actor. Lucky jerk. For some reason, my angry and obese cat is terrified of him -- possibly because H wrote a screenplay about poisoning his female roommate's angry and obese cat. (He's a pretty smart cat and I don't think he liked the subject matter. It's just a theory, though.)

R (for Rufus -- I named him after Rufus Wainwright) was abandoned (and declawed -- bad bad bad) by his previous owners when he was just two years old. Luckily, he was rescued from a high-kill shelter and put into a foster home, which is where I found him. He is the most badly-behaved cat I have ever owned. He's also adorable, so he gets away with it. He is orange and white with big green eyes and some stomach problems. And last night he ran headfirst into a wall.

And then there's me, the K in PHARK. I am an actor and a writer, taking a break after a crazy busy summer and procrastinating with my new blog before embarking on my next writing project, which is called "Use My Babies Well". Rufus and I are pretty happy with our lives right now. He eats as much as he can, as do I, and he sleeps a whole lot. I haven't been sleeping so well because my neighbour has a television built into the wall, but I don't mind. I love where I live, I love my roommates, I love this crazy neighborhood (which has the best coffee shop in Toronto -- I'm not kidding). I'm a happy Hewlett.

Speaking of Hewletts...thanks to all the Stargatites (did I just make up that word?) for their excitement about "McKay and Mrs. Miller". The episode was a total blast to film, and David was amazing to work with. (Sometimes. When he wasn't speaking. Or hitting. Or acting. Or eating.) This is the most idiotic question ever, but I have never had cable before, so I've had to watch episodes of Atlantis on dvd. Is there any way to watch Atlantis on t.v. here in Toronto?

Bye for now...keep checking in for that photograph I promised!

K. (the coolest letter in PHARK)